My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
There r osticjed everywhere
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
