I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
My dick has a subreddit
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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