can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
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