Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
