Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
