I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
