You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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