I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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