We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
