honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
