If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize