NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
