Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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