the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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