i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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