Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
