hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
