Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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