Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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