Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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