i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
