we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
