idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize