All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
