I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
