Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
