Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
