Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
You're a waste of cheezeits
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
