Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
