she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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