I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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