I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
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