It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
