hell yes lets make some ravioli
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
