I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
