Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
