Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Randomize
