Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize