i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
