hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Randomize
