I showed him my bush... on skype.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
