lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
