Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
