walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
