How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
