i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
