guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
