So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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