I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
