Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
