But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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