I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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