I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
