dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
