Buhtt sex?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
