I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
