my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
