turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize