Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
