Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Just high enough for therapy.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
