A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
