so explain again why im purple
no
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
