Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
