This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
