In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
