i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
There's always time for handjobs
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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