She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
