I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
