he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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