its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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