Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
last night I used snow as a chaser
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
