i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
