I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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