I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
