Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
