K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
