Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
