I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Boobs speak an international language.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
