that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize