my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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