meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
