He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
